Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize