O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
