You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
