I'd wear matching sweaters with you
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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