She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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