WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
