If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
