perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
