brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
