I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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