He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
