I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
