Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
