That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
