Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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