Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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