That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
