this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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