I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
