I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
