Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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