I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he shaved USA in his pubs
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
