I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
