um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm bleeding and have questions
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
