He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
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