me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
What a dumb baby whore.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
