What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize