Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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