Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
