Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
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