I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
