Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Randomize
