she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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