I can't breathe out the right side of my face
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
