Four minutes until I can fart!
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
