dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
