Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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