Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
