"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
barbara walters just said penis...
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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