It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize