You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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