Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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