STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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