i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
bring money and cleavage
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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