no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
