Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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