im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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