Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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