Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize