so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I smell like Dick and happiness
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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