Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
