there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
