What did we do last night that was yellow?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
