I will die if light touches me.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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