yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i think i have two assholes
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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