He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
