That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
