My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I wish i was in the wii world.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
