I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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