I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize