i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
