my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize